THE STANDARD DISCLAIMER
OBLIGATIONS OF RESPONSIBLE READING PARTY (that's you): By reading or allowing
others to read this disclaimer, Responsible Reading Party (you again) agrees to be bound
by the Agreement which governs the reading of this disclaimer.
An equal opportunity disclaimer.
Read at your own risk.
Must be 18 to read.
This does not necessarily reflect thoughts or opinions of either myself or anyone I know directly or indirectly.
This article is for educational purposes only.
Complete instructions are included.
No preservatives added.
Void where prohibited.
Some assembly required.
If ingested, do not induce vomiting.
If symptoms persist, consult your physician.
List each check separately by bank number.
Batteries not included.
Contents may settle during shipment.
Sorry, no C.O.D.'s.
Call now! If you receive a busy signal, please try again.
Stay on the line, an operator will assist you in the order that you called.
Remember to logoff before leaving.
Some intelligence required.
Use only as directed.
No other warranty expressed or implied.
Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.
Postage will be paid by addressee.
This is not an offer to sell securities.
Apply only to affected area.
May be too intense for some viewers.
Parental Advisory - possible explicit links; text may contain explicit materials some readers may find
objectionable, parental guidance is advised.
Do not stamp.
Use other side for additional listings.
Keep away from sunlight.
For recreational use only.
Do not disturb.
All models over 18 years of age.
No user-serviceable parts inside.
Freshest if eaten before date on carton.
Keep away from pets and small children.
For external use only.
If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading.
You can quote me on that.
Subject to change without notice.
Don't quote me on that.
Action figures sold separately.
Don't quote me on anything.
Times approximate.
Simulated picture.
No postage necessary if mailed in the United States.
If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to repair them yourself, but return to an authorized
service center.
Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop.
Not applicable to Acts of GOD.
No purchase necessary; you need not be present to win.
Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement.
For off road use only.
No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added.
Intentional misuse by deliberately concentrating and inhaling the contents of this disclaimer may be fun.
Do not use on silverware.
This disclaimer meets California and New York VOC regulations.
Call before you dig.
As seen on TV.
One size fits all.
Many suitcases look alike.
Contains a substantial amount of non tobacco ingredients.
Limit one per family please.
No money down.
Colors may fade.
We have sent the forms which seem right for you.
Slippery when wet.
For office use only.
Not affiliated with the American Red Cross.
Do not write below this line.
Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place.
Drop in any mailbox.
Edited for television.
Do not write above this line.
Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse.
Keep cool; process promptly.
Post office will not deliver without postage.
Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source.
List was current at time of printing.
Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward.
Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect,
error or failure to perform.
At participating locations only.
Not the Beatles.
Penalty for private use.
See label for sequence.
Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.
Watch for falling rock.
Lost ticket pays maximum rate.
Sealed for your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken.
Your canceled check is your receipt.
Add toner.
Place stamp here.
Avoid contact with skin.
Sanitized for your protection.
Be sure each item is properly endorsed.
Quantities are limited while supplies last.
Sign here without admitting guilt.
The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a condom.
Possible penalties for early withdrawal.
Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source.
Slightly higher west of the Mississippi.
Employees and their families are not eligible.
Slightly higher east of the Mississippi.
Beware of dog.
Call for service.
Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show.
Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery.
You must be present to win.
Do not exceed maximum weight capacity.
No passes accepted for this engagement.
No purchase necessary.
Offer valid only at participating links.
Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental.
Article is provided "as is" without any warranties.
Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton.
Shading within a garment may occur.
Allow six to eight weeks for delivery.
Use only in a well-ventilated area.
Keep away from fire or flames.
No shirt, No shoes, No service.
Replace with same type.
Approved for veterans.
Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes.
Booths for two or more.
Check here if tax deductible.
Some equipment shown is optional.
Reader assumes full responsibility.
Price does not include taxes.
Read only with proper ventilation.
Not recommended for children.
Prerecorded for this time zone.
Do not use after expiration date.
Reproduction strictly prohibited.
No solicitors.
No alcohol, dogs or horses.
Safety goggles may be required during use.
Nothing unless otherwise specified.
Restaurant package, not for resale.
Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail.
Get a life.
List at least two alternate dates.
First pull up, then pull down.
Call toll free number before digging.
Driver does not carry cash.
Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only.
Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear.
Record additional transactions on back of previous stub.
Portions were prerecorded.
No substitutions allowed.
For a limited time only.
Void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted.
Do not fold, spindle or mutilate.
Other restrictions may apply; contact for details.
No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop.
Package sold by weight, not volume.
Your mileage may vary.
All rights reserved.
Terms are subject to change without notice.
You may distribute freely but you may not make a profit from it.
Hand wash only.
Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption,
earthquake, hurricanes, and other Acts of God; neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect
line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or
altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations,
customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash,
ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, broken glass,
mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot,
BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays,
knives, stones, etc).
Tumble dry on low heat.
Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit.
Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law.
For entertainment only, do not put in mouth.
Monitor sold separately.
DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!
This supersedes all previous notices.
This disclaimer may not be copied without the expressed written consent of whoever I stole it from.
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